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Screaming Into the Vacuum

 

Sometimes, posting on social media feels like screaming into the vacuum. Being patient and growing an audience slowly can be incredibly frustrating.

I’ll post a funny thing and then wait…

And wait…

And wait…

But nobody comments or likes or retweets it. And I’m like, “You guys, I’m super serial, that was so funny.”

Beyond that, I follow a lot of book bloggers now. These kids (and not-kids) devour hundreds of books. They have a pretty kickass community where they support and love each other and books and authors. And they fangirl over their favorite authors, such as Leigh Bardugo, Jodi Meadows, and Sarah Raasch. And they’ve made ME a fangirl of these incredible authors.

Most days, this doesn’t bug me at all. Most days I know that I am writing for me and it doesn’t matter if people like it or not. My worth is not based on my Twitter followers or number of retweets or Kindle rank. I’m actually doing really well for my second year of writing books.

But some days, like when my depression is a little more active than usual and the Anghenfil is a little meaner, the lack of love for my books gets me down. Especially when the online downloads begin to dip, I begin to panic that my dream is slipping away.Life is miserable and I’ll never sell another book again.

Did I mention I’m a catastrophizer?

Damned Dragon

Just as Lauren is trapped by the Anghenfil in Empath, I become trapped in my own mind. That’s when I step away from the interwebs–and, more importantly, my computer–for a few hours. Go to the beach, take the dogs for walk, sit on my porch and read.

I get so wrapped up in the World of Twitter that I forget there’s another big ol’ one outside of it. Today is not the only day that will ever be, and there’s so many things on their way. If I have a few days or weeks where everything slows down, it’s not the end of the world. Just because people don’t love Razia or Lauren, doesn’t mean they won’t fall for any of the other books I have coming. I have a great plan and I just need to keep executing that plan and be patient. Things will happen when they are supposed to, and not a minute sooner. Worrying about it will only serve to drain my creative energy, which is my most precious commodity.

Things will happen when they are supposed to...and not a minute sooner.

 

Published inRambles
  • Kara Jorgensen

    So true. I have felt the same thing so many times. It can be a moral-killer, but as you aid, things happen when they’re supposed to. 🙂

    • S. Usher Evans

      Sometimes it’s good to know that I’m not alone in my crazy. <3 Keep your chin up!

    • It’s great to know that we’re not alone, camaraderie is an great thing. Keep your chin up!

  • I can echo these sentiments 100%. It’s tough, especially for someone who feels so newbish to these things. Especially all the second guessing: ‘Am I too chatty? Am I not chatty enough? Is it okay to harp on my books? Did I overdo it?’ … it’s endless! Always glad to feel that I’m not going these things alone though!

    • What also helps me is to realize that not everyone is on social media as much as I am and there’s SO MUCH out there that things get lost. So many times, it isn’t about me (or you!). Keep your chin up!

  • Katie L. Carroll

    OMG, I totally have days like that. On those days, it’s torture to think about how my book isn’t selling very many copies and it’s going to doom the rest of my career. It makes it hard to keep writing, even when I love the story I’m working on and think it’s the best work I’ve done. It’s hard, hard, hard not to get down, and even harder to get out of the spiral of negativity. That’s when I’m thankful for the distraction of my kids. Every single day they remind what is important in life. Then I take a deep breath and keep beating my head against the wall that is trying to make a career out of writing novels.

    • I LOVE that you’ve got your kids for that. That’s why I’m thankful Zoe comes in every few hours and reminds me to take her for a walk or play with her. It’s good to have those grounding reminders.

  • Marlene Relja

    A big yes to everything you said and everything the commenters said! Definitely have the same spiraling depressives/pessimistic thoughts. It’s like that saying, sometimes you feel more alone in a throng of people (social media groups in this case) than when you’re actually by yourself. And it’s interesting how some authors have this instinctive way of attracting mass involvement on their social sites.
    The only thing we can do is keep writing, keep honing our craft and hope that somebody out there will be moved by, entertained by or maybe even fall in love with our stories.

    • I think that everyone, no matter how much they may seem like they’re social butterflies, has that instinct to worry about whether their stuff is any good.

      Keep writing is exactly it. And don’t look at Goodreads…yeesh.

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